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Sex is the private poetry that flows between two individuals – even if only for the moment – carrying with it a unique signature of communication at its most intimate.
It's a physical and emotional union where our most primal expressions of self are laid bare to another being.
"Every time we'd make love, I'd think 'This feels so great – he must want to get back together with me.' And each time, I ended up hurt and disappointed, because all he wanted was the sex." The last time they slept together, Dave told her he was engaged to someone else.
"It was like a cold bucket of water in the face," Sharon remembers.
Your self-esteem and sense of self-worth continue to be assaulted the "morning after," and you're actively denying yourself all of the joy and fulfillment of a loving sexual relationship.
Many couples who've split up avoid the whole prospect of being out in the cold by continuing to have a sexual relationship even though the relationship is over.
We're not only dealing with a painful recovery process, but we're also wondering if we'll ever have a satisfying relationship – or whether we'll be able to love or be loved – again.
And in order to begin that process, you need to examine the dynamics of the partnership that's ended and identify a starting point uniquely your own.
According to Jill Fein, a certified Imago relationship therapist and LCSW practicing in Lincolnwood, IL, some people want to get right back on the horse after splitting up with their spouse – and the sooner, the better.
Many clients have told me they'd love to be in a relationship if there were a guarantee they wouldn't get hurt.
But opening your heart to someone is a risk – and it's the risk you have to take if you want to be in a relationship." There's absolutely no doubt that the prospect of new sexual relationships is going to bring emotional issues related to your break-up to the forefront.
Coping with divorce and the prospect of intimate sexual relationships thereafter is like having each foot in a different camp: which deserves the most attention?